Wednesday, March 21, 2012

What does a woman want?

Woman: My God, he goes away, away, away from meeeeeeeeeee! (Crying) 
Brain: positive, more positive ...
Woman: How to be more positive? Look, he collects things, bastard ... 
Brain: not cry, smile .... smile mysteriously ... And do not wave your arms like a windmill!
Woman: This bastard, puts the bag ... A decent man, when he left, takes only socks and underpants, but the bastard puts also T-shirtsssssssssss ... (crying) 
Brain: Smile!
Woman: Maybe I'll  throw myself on his neck? 
Brain: You fool!
Woman: What if I hit him very quietly ... on the head ... with a frying pan?
Brain: ????
Woman: Then I'll feed him (poor) with a  broth ... So can stretch about two months ... Maybe he will get used to ...  and not go away ...
Brain: You criminality!... And what if you do not calculate the power?
Woman: I'll better swing and hit him!
Brain: I'm not in that sense .... but what if you
, like a fool, kill him? ... You get into jail!
Woman: Then tell me what to do? ... If you're so smart
Brain: Smile!! More positive, more positive ....
Woman: My God, what positive can be found in this? I will stay oneeeeeeeee! (Crying)
Brain: Smile!...  First of all, not one... but a Free woman (!)....
Woman: What for to me this kind of freedom?
Brain: Smile! Freedom is nice: you will only deal with yourself!
Woman: How? (Squelching nose)
Brain: So! You'll learn Brazilian - you always wanted to watch soap operas without translation... Will  go to the playing drums section - will be what to do with your strength and energy!
Woman: Time
lacking for anything  before ...
Brain: You're going to manage finances yourself, without any stupid purchases of fishing rods and eternal repairs of collapsed car!
Woman: I'll buy a fur coat... and sandals ...  those... with a bow .... (wipes tears) 
Brain: Will go to dinner with the guy from the legal department - he so looked at you ...
Woman: (Laughs) Yeah, to the "McDonalds". He is, incidentally, has already offered me .... Oh, I'll wear a fur coat and sandals with a bow .... (smiling enigmatically)
Brain: No need to prepare anyone or wash ...
Woman: Just a manicure-pedicure, massage, mask! (Smiles of happiness) ........ I'll go on a tour of the Moscow ring road ... (dreamily)
Brain: You see! And you did not see the positive ...
Woman: Oh, how wonderful I am going to live! (Smiles triumphantly)
Brain: What?
Woman: He stands on his knees with a suitcase and kiss knees!
Brain: Whose?
Woman: Of course mine,  not his own... Asks for forgiveness (distractedly)... He says that will never find the same like me ...Wants to stay (frustrated)...
Brain: OOPS!
Woman: But how is my freedom? 
(Squelching nose)  ... And  what about the playing drums section? (crying) .... Fur Coat, those sandals? ..... (Sobs) And Bob from the legal department?
Brain: Positive, more positive ...

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